The Power of Women: How Community Builds Confidence and Success

Last year after Alt I spoke with several talented friends who left Salt Lake City and felt like throwing in the chevron and neon dipped ombre antlers towel. Instead of being inspired, they were overwhelmed. “There are already so many great bloggers. What’s the point?” “I’ll never be so-and-so…”  “I just can’t keep up.” 

This year I wanted to make sure that attendees (at least the ones who left my roundtable) got something encouraging and optimistic that they could take home with them and put into action. Here’s why I think it’s important to have a community of women, especially if you’re a blogger, artist, or creative entrepreneur.

A community of women can help you take the next step.

Have you ever felt empowered to do something big after spending an afternoon with your best girlfriends or a small group of creative women? That’s how I felt after Girl Crush. There’s something so powerful about being surrounded by the support of women who are being real and opening up to each other. Sometimes there’s even enough good energy to give you the guts to start your own business.

Your community can help you develop a new self-image.

They can show you how they see you, which leads to you believing in yourself.

When we went around and introduced ourselves at Girl Crush, we all mentioned how we made our living. I was working on my blog full-time, social media consulting part-time, and I had a full-time non-related job too. When I made the statement, “I’m a pediatric behavioral research project manager,” I thought Danielle and Tif were going to fall out of their chairs. They both looked at me like I was insane and said, “I thought you were a writer!” “I thought you were a graphic designer!” simultaneously. I remember the feeling I had. If successful artists, writers, and designers thought I was one of them, shouldn’t I be one of them?

 

My Ladies: JillJenLeslieSandraSheri /// Not pictured: Caroline

A community of women can support you.

No matter how you spend your days, some of them are going to be hard. I have a group of women that I can go to when I’m totally freaking out. They won’t judge me for it, and they might even send me cookies. When I’m feeling lost or not sure what to do next, they become my sounding board. They’re proofreaders, brainstormers, marketers, and virtual shoulders to cry on. You NEED this kind of support network if you’re a creative that spends a lot of time alone or behind the screen.

A community of women can say, “That sucks!” really REALLY loudly.

In case you hadn’t heard yet, life’s not fair. Business isn’t fair either. Sometimes you’re going to want to talk about the crazy things that happen, but don’t want to broadcast it on Twitter. Or should I say shouldn’t broadcast it on Twitter? You want people to commiserate with when unfair things happen, because unfair things are definitely going to happen.

QUESTION: What gets in the way of having this kind of community?

ANSWER: Jealousy. Self-doubt. Not knowing where to find it.

Sometimes the only thing that you need to change is your mindset. Drift off into that place of collaboration instead of competition. If you have a similar audience, reach out to that person whose life you wish you had with a project that you can work on together. Congratulate them instead of silently seething. Next time Super Cool Blogger has done something awesome (yes, that you’re extremely jealous of), say, “Way to go, Super Cool Blogger! You are awesome!” Or something like that.

How can you do that when the green-eyed monster is so big that your entire body looks like it’s made of Grinch? Take a few minutes and think about how it would feel if that super awesome thing happened to you. Think about how much Super Cool Blogger has worked to get where she is now. Everyone starts with their first blog post, even the Super Coolest of the Super Cool. Plus who knows all the work she put into things like that before she launched her awesome blog. Retweet Super Cool Blogger’s achievement with a congratulations, and good karma is surely to follow.

brooke-dennis-alt-2013-clue-party

Photo by Brooke Dennis // Alt Summit 2013 – Clue Party

If you’re having trouble finding your community, look somewhere else.

In Real Life

1. Try searching Facebook, Craigslist, or the web in general for local creative or blogging meetups.

2. Ask around in shops that cater to the type of blog or interests that you have.

3. Check your local community colleges for one day workshops about things that you love.

4. Reach out to local bloggers that you like and ask them to meet up for coffee.

5. Attend conferences or local events. I met so many people at Alt and local Seattle events who have become dear friends and have offered great encouragement and support.

In Interwebs Life

1. Search and join a Facebook group or Google Community.

If you can’t find a group you’re interested in, start your own and invite the people you want in your community.

2. Reach out to bloggers that you love. Email questions to them, talk to them on Facebook or Twitter (especially Twitter, bloggers love the Twitters), and leave genuine comments on their blog posts.

3. Your community might not be the same as the blogger you love’s community. Look beyond the blogger to the people who follow her. See if there are any like minded readers in the comments section of blogs that you love, and check out their blogs. Once you get to know them, invite them to collaborate on a cool project.

Kathleen + Monica

How to Help Each Other Grow As Bloggers, Artists, Crafters, Etc.

1. Promote each others work, but not blindly or constantly. If you don’t like something or if it’s not a good fit for your audience, it’s okay to pass.

2. Provide honest feedback and critique on new ideas. If one of “your people” asks for your feedback, you’re wasting everyone’s time if you always tell them that everything is awesome. Unless you really think everything is awesome, of course.

3. Don’t freak out if a community member doesn’t take your well-thought-out advice or constructive criticism. Your group should be able to communicate openly and honestly with each other, and sometimes that means that your advice isn’t going to be right for them.

3. Do projects together. It’s fun, it’s interactive, and it will increase your readership and audience. Try group pinboards, guest posting, or a collaboration series.

Sandra, George Clooney, Sheri, Audrey Hepburn, Me – Flipboard Party, Alt Summit 2013

Final Thoughts

Blogging is amazing, but it’s also a tough business. You need to have a group of women that you can reach out to for anything – your “tribe” – and they will be there for you. They’ll give you support, promote you, make you feel AWESOME on those days that you want to delete your blog, and remind you why you started doing this stuff in the first place. xoxo

Find more posts about Alt Summit here.